where the hell was the cult mag?

Full transparency: When I created The Cult Mag, I was on antidepressants and anxiety medication that left me completely numb. My feelings were suppressed, and I felt disconnected from everything. I barely ate, barely slept, and could barely think. I’d stare at my computer for hours, and nothing would come out of it.

I tried to reconnect with life—through nature, travel, partying, buying clothes and shoes—but I still felt nothing. Oddly, feeling nothing brought a strange sense of relief. Because when I do feel, I feel hard. I feel everything, deeply and passionately. But the downside was losing my creative spark. I became jaded.

I tried collaborating with other creatives, hoping to reignite the same passion I had when I first started The Cult Magazine. But it’s hard to pour your heart into someone else’s project and receive nothing in return.

I started to feel even more jaded when I realized I was constantly helping others, but no one was in a position to help me. Everyone said they wanted to work with me, but no one ever sat me down and asked why I wasn’t creating anymore. And honestly—I don’t blame them. I don’t blame anyone but myself.

I was never discouraged by a lack of support. You all always showed up for me, and for that I’m grateful. I just didn’t know how to manage myself—or the magazine. My discouragement came from within. From my own decisions and failures. I didn’t realize that failure is something everyone goes through.

During my two-year hiatus, I never stopped trying to improve my craft. But when it started feeling like a job—like people were depending on me to “blow up”—the pressure crushed my passion. Of course I want to succeed. Who doesn’t? But I want to do it on my terms. I want to build something meaningful, not just a trend that fades away.

The Cult Mag isn’t just a name—it’s a space for connection. A place where people feel heard, seen, and valued. We’re here for the real culture, for the voices that don’t always get the mic, for the ones carving out space when none was given.

We’re Back. And This Time, It’s Deeper.

Better garments. Better content. A better purpose.

Thank you for not forgetting. For still riding with us through the silence. This is just the beginning.

We’re also opening the doors wide:
Calling all models, writers, photographers, artists, and creatives.
If you’ve been looking for a place to build something real, this is it. Let’s work. Let’s grow. Let’s help each other be great.

Welcome back to The Cult Magazine.